Neuro linguistics programming is the influence of brain behavior through the use of language and communication to recode the way a person thinks or responds to stimuli.
I was watching a video on YouTube called…
“Repeatedly thinking about your narcissist is by grand design”
by Luminousz Ztarr https://youtu.be/EOdHdioQGng
I begin to watch this video as I have been watching other videos about the narcissist and the empath and how they attract, because I, was in love with a narcissist.
I haven’t been on my blog in awhile, so now its time.
Victory is mine; I thank God never left my side.
After our last encounter, he showed up as a surprise guest at my friend’s wedding I was attending in the Dominican Republic. We had been fighting verbally back and forth prior to that about what I should be doing with my life, specifically my money.
He couldn’t accept that I left him and decided to start traveling to other places without him, and going back on my promise to marry him.
He wanted me to be with him just the way he was.
I wanted to see him for my friend‘s wedding, but being with him would be in a totally different setting.
During this trip, things started off well, but unfortunately didn’t end well.
Eventually I told him…
“I believe one of the reasons this relationship did not work was because, when I met you, I gave you a special part of me that I should not have given you and that was my mind, body and my soul.” (fornication)
“After my husband died, I was lonely and I was vulnerable and I gave my body and my soul to you even though you never earned it. But you begged for me and I wanted to trust you. ” (vulnerability)
“I felt sorry for you living in a 3rd world country, I gave you money. That was my mistake. ” (empathy)
“I had no knowledge of what a Sanky Panky was at that time. I was too naive to believe that a man like you could easily take advantage of me. I didn’t know it was your passion to manipulate me. ” (oblivious)
“I was just a woman with a good heart who was willing to give everything for the man I fell in love with who told me he would make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.” (Hopeless romantic)
“You told me you were a Sanky, not directly, but indirectly and I did not want to believe it. I was immediately drawn into your attention to me, your culture, your desire to… manipulate me. (Fantasy)
I saw you as a human being with a passion to help other people. I saw you as a man who loved God. I saw you as a man who loved his family. I saw you as my husband. (Love)
Until… you cheated on me. I had to leave you. I had to think about me. (Reality)
There is something evil deep inside that has a stronghold on you and it will not allow you to be free. The lies, the sex, the manipulation of the mind, and the facade of living two lives. You eventually begin to show the narcissistic side, and that part of you I despise. (release)
Detaching myself from all of that with space in my mind, he reaches out to me during the holidays just one last time to see if I’m on his mind. Yea sure, you’re on my mind and I wish you well my friend.
Time goes by with space in my mind and he reaches out to me again to ask if I forgot about him. I’m thinking, No because you trained me to repeatedly think about you. Your power was relinquished when you fucked Cristina, so I have to move on with my life. And what does the narcissist do? He makes my new amigo the center of attention.
Telling me I gave another man my number and that I was talking to him in his presence.
I say to him, “I am only doing the same thing you’re doing and to me it’s no different. ”
After many attempts to make me feel guilty, I felt good about telling him the truth, “Yes I gave another man my number, yes we talked on video in your presence, you know how your kind of men can be, very very persistent!”
After that confession he goes on to say “Go and be with him. I wish you well and it is better to block you to quiet the mind.”
I said, “Thank you, Papi. If you want to give up the best sex you’ve ever had, that’s going to be your problem!”
We both laughed! 😘
Time goes by with space in my mind and he reaches out to me again to ask if I… would have sex with him one more time?”
I left him with NO REPLY!
I enjoyed the long journey, the laughs, the traveling, learning Spanish, teaching him English, meeting new friends, seeing different parts of his culture and his country, the daily text messages and phone calls, the anticipation of going to see him again, the food he cooked for me, the beaches, the love he had to give to me.
(If you see him, RUN!) lol in the opposite direction.