Repeatedly thinking about your narcissist is by grand design.

*Neuro linguistics programming is the influence of brain behavior through the use of language and communication to recode the way a person thinks or responds to stimuli.

I was watching a video on YouTube called…

“Repeatedly thinking about your narcissist is by grand design”

by Luminousz Ztarr https://youtu.be/EOdHdioQGng

I begin to watch this video, as I have been watching other videos about the narcissist and the empath and how they attract, because I, was in love with a narcissist. Some men can easily pick up on vulnerability, perhaps in some environments, they train themselves for that to use it to their advantage for whatever supplies they lack. For example money, love or sex.

*images from the video

Victory is mine; I thank God because HE never left my side.

I am not writing this to slander anyone’s name, but being the author, I have a right to write my own story and the characters involved, well just happened to be in my story.

Eduard, my ex, showed up as a surprise guest at my friend’s wedding I was attending in the Dominican Republic. Him and I had been fighting (verbally) back and forth for months prior to that about what I should be doing with my life, specifically my money.

He couldn’t accept that I left him and decided to start traveling to other places without him, and going back on my promise to marry him.

He wanted me to be with him just the way he was.

I couldn’t do that.

I wanted to see him for my friend’s wedding, but being with him would be in a totally different setting. Kinda like we are here together, but not really together. Just that bond type of let’s get together for old times sake.

During this trip, things started off well, but unfortunately, didn’t end well. He habitually thinks he can control me to allow him to cheat, but is it really cheating if we are not really together?

Did he feel used that I asked him to come and spend time with me and I didn’t return the favor? Was it a money issue that was on the table? After seven days with him, the exposure of me accepting calls from another man in his presence and then the confrontation of him fucking Kristina. I said,

This is toxic and we are hurting each other. For what? Let’s just go our separate ways. Apparently there’s a misunderstanding.

Eventually I told him…

“I believe one of the reasons this relationship did not work was because, when I met you, I gave you a special part of me that I should not have given you and that was my mind, body and my soul.”

(Fornication)

“After my husband died, I was vulnerable. I gave my body and my soul to you even though you never earned it, but I saw how you begged for me and I wanted to trust you.”

(Vulnerability)

“I felt sorry for you living in a 3rd world country, I gave you money. That was my mistake.”

(Empathy)

“I had no knowledge of what a Sanky was at that time. I was too naive to believe that a man like you could easily take advantage of me. I didn’t know it was your passion to …. manipulate me. ”

(Oblivious)

“I was just a free woman who was willing to give a chance to the man I fell in love with who told me he would make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.”

(Hopeless romantic)

“You told me you were a Sanky, (not directly,) but indirectly. You admitted to inviting women to your country to show them a “good time.” I did not want to believe it; but it was true because one of those women was ME!

I was immediately drawn into your attention to me, your culture, your desire to… manipulate me.”

(Fantasy)

I saw you as a human being with a passion to help other people. I saw you as a man who loved God. I saw you as a man who loved his family. I saw you as my husband.

(Love)

Untilyou cheated on me. I had to leave you. I had to think about …. ME.

(Reality)

There is something evil deep inside that has a stronghold on you and it will not allow you to be free. The lies, the sex, the manipulation of the mind, and the facade of living two lives. You eventually begin to show the narcissistic side, and that part of you I despise.

(Release)

Detaching myself from all of that with space in my mind, he reaches out to me during the holidays just one last time to see if I’m on his mind. Yea sure, you’re on my mind and I wish you well my friend.

Time goes by with space in my mind and he reaches out to me again to ask if I forgot about him. I’m thinking to myself, ..

It was by your grand design to train me to have you always on my mind, but now your power was relinquished when you fucked, Kristiana, so now I have to move on with my life.

And what does the narcissist do? He turns everything around and tries to make my new amigo the center of his attention.

Telling me I gave another man my number and that I was talking to him in his presence, made him jealous.

(Narcissistic)

I say to him, “I am only doing the same thing you were doing and to me it’s no different!”

(Revenge)

After many attempts to make me feel guilty, I didn’t. I felt good about telling him the truth, “Yes, I gave another man my number, yes we talked on video in your presence. You know how your kind of men can be, very very persistent!”

After that confession he goes on to say “Go and be with him. I wish you well and it is better to block you to quiet the mind.”

I said, “Thank you, Papi. If you want to give up the best sex you’ve ever had, that’s going to be your problem!”

We both laughed! 😘

Time goes by with space in my mind and he reaches out to me one more time to ask…….

“Will you have sex with me one more time?”

I left him with NO REPLY!

I enjoyed the long journey, the laughs, the smiles, the traveling back and forth, learning Spanish, teaching him English, meeting new friends, seeing different parts of his culture and his country, the daily text messages and phone calls, the anticipation of going to see him again, the food he cooked for me, the beaches, the love he had to give……to me.

He had a motive, a strategic plan, maybe it was to have his baby, maybe for a visa, maybe it was just for the money or sex.

Thank God, I’m out now and Adiós to my Narcissist Ex!

I Understand

From IAH to SDQ

Trip No. 10

Dominican Republic ~ When I am there I feel free. Flying into the capital (Santo Domingo) and a two hour scenic drive to a Romantic beachfront property in Uvero Alto and then back to the capital… Lord, I’m so in love!

You don’t want me to acknowledge the pain.

You only want me to acknowledge the good again.

I understand

Now that I’ve turned my back to you, I know you’re hurting too, but what are you teaching me?

Not to be blue?

Just as you think of me daily, the consequences of your actions reminds me daily not to let you back in until you can acknowledge the pain I’m in!

What you’ve learned to accept in your culture may not be ok in mine. If you can’t live without me, then you have to confess that what you feel is true.

Which is… You can’t be without me and you don’t want to be blue!

#poetry #author #blogger #travel #romancetourism #theloveexperience #thepoetryjournal

Declare what you Desire

Paralyzed by the love we found, he likes the way I love. I’m stepping way out of my comfort zone now, Lord keep carrying me down this road. Protection means to set boundaries. Be patient and be bold. Declare what you desire! Let your intentions be known. #thepoetryjournal

I opened the door to love and I was amazed at what I could find. You would not believe my story if I told you how this all began from my very first time on this island.

But don’t think for a second it’s been all peaches and cream, from a fantasy unfolding to a reality untold. This has not been easy.

Things can be going good, but when the flames go out we find a way to ignite them again. Isn’t that what love is about? To keep finding your way in and out?

Just as you can see the clear blue skies, the trees taller than you could ever climb. The sand and shore for miles and miles. This is Faith because I never thought I could have this. Never imagined that I could deserve this. If I would have waited to depend on him, I would not be here writing this.

If you want something and you have the desire to make it happen, declare what you desire. There’s many ways to go about getting what you want, but the route I took was truly a faith walk. I had fear, but I also had love. The Lord’s love for us allowed this to happen. I have not done this on my own.

This romantic abode sits right on the shore in Uvero Alto in the Dominican Republic. It is elevated above a gift shop so when the sun rises, it’s something you don’t want to miss. It’s stocked with essentials like milk, juice, eggs, bread, cereal, coffee, fruit, and more. There is Wi-fi, even a portable wi-fi if you decide to go out on the beach, now that’s a plus.

It has two electric burners, a panini grill and a microwave. I was just in my own little heaven. It really felt like home. When I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw the view of the moon shining very bright along the ocean, I knew that God was with me. I can’t thank him enough for his protection and his grace that abounds much more. The host for this Air BnB deserves a 10 for superb service, accommodations, cleanliness and great communication throughout my entire stay!

I want to return one day to this cozy place and explore love all over again with a rendezvous face to face.

Click here for $40 and find yourself a nice get away. Step out of your comfort zone and step into love. Define love for yourself. Live, Love and Travel!

Quél

Vote for Shanna ~ Travel Enthusiast

This is an awe inspiring story from my friend Ms. Shanna Stevenson! Expat ~ Travel Enthusiast ~ International Trip Planner ~ Dominican Republic Host. Please take two minutes to find out more about her travel business and most importantly vote for her to be a recipient of the FedEx Small Business Grant!

Votes are allowed once per person per 24-hour period now through April 4. So go vote.

Vote! Time is of the essence!

Click here to vote!

Traveling on a Budget

If money didn’t matter, would you care how much you spent on your airline tickets for leisurely travel? For some, money ain’t a thing, but if you’re traveling on a budget or you are just conscientious about how you spend your hard earned money, (like me) always watch your airline flights.

I will tell you how I saved $463 on my next flight out!

Let’s just keep this short and sweet because I know you have more important stuff to do than to read my blogs. So here goes nothing!

I’m an avid traveler to Punta Cana. I have been there more than I should probably admit to. Yet, I’m still grateful.

Something told me to visit Santo Domingo, which is the capital of the Dominican Republic. I never fly into SDQ because the flights are usually expensive (to me) because I’m always on a budget. The flights usually range from $600 – $900. For the dates I chose to travel, these same flights are ranging from $783 – $851 round trip.

A round trip flight to Punta Cana is 1/2 this price which is why I usually fly on SW “Wanna Get Away” fares.

IF YOU HAVE REWARD MILES… USE THEM!

From IAH to SDQ I booked a one way flight using 15K AA reward miles and only paid $36!

I added trip insurance for my flights just in case. Cost for that? $28!

I use several different sources to watch airline flights such as Hopper, Skyscanner, Google Flights and Mezi. So I’m watching this return flight from SDQ to IAH because I cannot stay in the DR! Although I wish I could. This one way flight is $463 and it is fluctuating up and down by a couple of dollars. Here’s what Mezi found for me…

Something told me… Do not buy that flight!

You guys must know that I am tuned into booking my own travel because one, I am amazed at these trips I have chosen for myself and two, I am on a budget! LoL

I started looking at the round trip flight details. The route is from SDQ to MIA and to IAH. I’m thinking, I know MIA (you gotta know your airport codes) has some one way deals to IAH. Let’s look at these flights separately!

Voila! From SDQ (Santo Domingo) to MIA to IAH I paid $256!

A big savings from that one way flight for $463! It’s a big savings to me because you already know I am on a budget! LoL

$196 for SDQ to MIA

$60 for MIA to IAH

A really great deal!

There is a downside to this and if you know me I cannot leave out this part. These airline flights have some restrictions and there is a longer layover in Miami. That $463 flight had me arriving at 10:00 pm, well with these flights I will be arriving at 11:52 pm. I really do not like traveling long periods of time but if I can save over $400 on a round trip flight, well sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you. I was willing to spend that extra time to keep the savings in my pocket.

Here are the restrictions (I thought I said I was keeping this short and sweet) LoL

AA has these new bag rules it seems and the weird thing about me booking these flights is I wanted to look at how I can improve my packing process. I usually have one luggage, a duffle bag and a shoulder purse when I travel. Look at these restrictions below for this Basic Economy Fare.

1. One item that fits under the seat! That would be my duffle bag because there’s no way my luggage will fit underneath their seats.

2. No access to the overhead bins, which means if I do bring a suitcase I would have to pay a checked bag fee for two flights and that’s $50! That is not about to happen because I need to eat with that $50! Now I have to travel without a suitcase.

3. Boarding in the last group! Oh Lawd!!!! I’m used to boarding group A/B. They will assign my seat for me. I am so curious to see how this goes. I better not get bumped for this flight.

So yeah, I will need to make some adjustments to how I travel for this trip. It is my goal to pack light because I usually take too much stuff anyway. My last trip I had to give some of my clothes away. I hope whoever has them use them. LoL!

This is my short travel segment on how I saved $463 on my round trip flight to the beautiful Dominican Republic once again! This time en la capital! Zona Colonial Style!

MUAH! (I think I need a backpack) LoL

LIVE ~ LOVE ~ TRAVEL

God’s Glory

Lord, it’s because of you I am able to bask in your glory.

Thank you.

Photographer @dannivoir

#bmpc2018 #dominicanrepublic #pearlbeachclub #puntacana #tripwithshan

Lord, I Love You More!

RIU Republica

Adventures can take you places you never thought you could go.

AlSol Del Mar

AlSol Del Mar

I found my adventure on the beaches of the Dominican Republic shores.

Hard Rock Resort Punta Cana

Even my very first time on the beach, I literally fell in love.

Be Live ~ Bayahibe

It was something I began to embrace and a fantasy I began to create. Had me traveling overseas back and forth.

Tortuga Bay ~ Cap Cana

God, I am loving these beaches, but I love you more. I do not take for granted that your mercy and your grace has allowed me to explore your everlasting love for me on the beaches of your world.

Playa Blanca ~ Punta Cana

Los Corales ~ Bavaro

API Beach

Juanillo Beach

Macao Beach

I love these beaches, but Lord I love you more! Thank you.