An Afterthought

The older I get the less I know.

I still remember my first job interview at 15. I landed my first part-time job at the Gap outlet. My very first day on the job, I was faced with a pile of unfolded messy clothes on a table. The task at hand back then, looks like my son’s closets today. At 15, I jumped right into the task and started to fold these messy clothes on the table to make the table look organized enough for the customers to sort through them and to buy them. Soon after I sorted through that mess for months, I was promoted to the original Gap store front where the scenery was new and fresh. The clothes were neatly folded and presented in a manner where the customer wanted to buy them right off the shelf. At sweet 16, I was more focused on greeting the customer and closing the sale, clocking in and out for a day’s pay.

After leaving the retail industry, I had to focus more on my passion for work and I somehow landed in administration. Perhaps it could have been that simple vocational course I completed immediately out of high school that started my path for administration. This course was free offered by the city or the state, I really don’t remember but this free course paved the way for me to obtain the office skills needed to work in an office environment.

I still remember absorbing all the skills in administration, taking courses and attending seminars to improve my skills enormously. I learned the skills I needed and brought that expertise back into my workplace and executed my skills effectively. I was my own master, defining my own destiny, and claiming my own future for success.  Every time I turned a year older, I found myself striving for more skills and more money to reach the top or that pot of gold in my bank account.

Then I got married, and the kids came. My focus to thrive in my career shifted to my new born babies and a husband. My career became an afterthought. Being consumed with feeding babies, changing diapers, daycare, strollers and car seats, not to mention the duty of being a wife, my job was an afterthought. My skills in administration were only being utilized between the hours of 8am-5pm, after that I shifted into family time of nurturing babies, preparing dinner and preparing my family for the next day and doing it all over again. No time for traveling to seminars and executive courses because babies are more important. My desire to enhance my executive skills became an afterthought.

The older I got the less I know. I can only do what I am told. My desire has unfolded into an afterthought. I admire those who continue to strive for the best. Who jump through hoops, those who go above and beyond to get to the top because whatever it is that is in you to give you that boost, use it to your advantage so that your goals in life won’t just become an afterthought.


Strength Through Pain

I’d like to welcome my friend Che’, to The Poetry Journal.  Che’ has been an attribute to my journey for over a year now and I asked her if she would be a contributing writer on my blog.

Please welcome her with open minds with her first blog. “Strength through Pain” 😘

Experienced the loss of her mother. Drug addiction controlled her father.

Hurt and pain grew stronger.
Many questions asked, but no one to answer.

Having to mature sooner than she wanted. Coping with life’s demands became a burden.

She formed a veil to hide her pain.
Hoping the sun would shine through the rain.

Behind this veil was a callused being.
Protection is what she was yearning.

Protection from fear, worry, and self-doubt.
Trying to understand how these insecurities came about.

Everyday was a struggle.
Trying to perfectly fit pieces to life’s puzzle.

With the help of God and self determination, she stood tall and conquered her situations.

From the pain that she once felt,
Strength and hope was manifested.

She then understood that the life she was dealt.
Prepared her to become the woman God intended.

Sweetly Blessed


In November 2015, I started a series of quotes called the #Justluvseries. I started this series because after losing my husband, I became vulnerable. I didn’t realize it was vulnerability back then, but I had placed some boundaries and rules to protect my heart. Was I looking to love again? Yes.

I wanted an escape to fulfill a fantasy where tasteful wishes come true. I wanted him to ask for anything he wanted. I was seeking pleasures of a true climax, but I didn’t want to question why.

I became compassionate, sympathetic and started to love others to motivate them. I begin to give without expecting anything in return because some of my high expectations caused unnecessary anxiety when things didn’t go my way or when I felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted in return. Then I realized that two people may never love each other the same way and that my love cannot be measured. You know, love can be uncertain; but I took the risk yet trying to protect my heart.

So I started to be more transparent because people will judge you anyway. I wanted to let go of who I thought I was supposed to be and embrace who I really was. I had inhibitions with desires and fantasies that had me pondering on where I should be in relationships and looking for certainty, then I started to just believe in love.

I started to inspire others to dream bigger than their current situations. The true art of giving creates a peace within. I began to trust the Lord in every situation and I understood that my love was sacred. I wanted to fall in love with someone who fell in love with me. I love this quote by Brene’ Brown, “You can’t get to courage without waking through vulnerability. Period.”

And with that said, although I was vulnerable, I decided I wasn’t going to let my love be influenced by misconceptions. Within me, I had the power to love and I did just that.

My Children 🙏🏼❤️🌹

“Wanting Greatness for your Children” 

Be fruitful and multiply to bring forth children into this thing called life. This is a great conversation piece with your significant other, prior to marriage, to identify important goals for wanting what is best for your unborn child. In my opinion, it is one of the most important decisions for the institution of marriage.

Being a parent is described as one of the greatest challenges in our lifetime, yet it can be very rewarding. Couples get excited about love, intimacy and living happily ever after, and then miraculously a child is born into this world. Children, at all ages require a great deal of attention to prepare them for what’s ahead in life. Parents must be very mindful of how we treat them, how we talk to them, how we react when they disappoint us and how we discipline them. Children require many things but discipline, dedication, commitment and love can help them get through the learning process of improving their education and building healthy relationships. Even having all of these qualities as a parent, the job can become overwhelming time and time again.  

Parents bear a huge responsibility for their child’s health, education, social life, and a spiritual foundation; however the greatest liability is feeling responsible for their failures. You may ask yourself, what am I doing wrong? What can I do to help them? Why didn’t they ask for my help? But what happens when your children fail? How does the parent and the child react to failure? If and when they fail, it can be discouraging to both the parent and the child. Both can learn and grow from these failures because it allows the child to see their mistakes and to think about ways to correct them. Take the failure and turn it into an opportunity for growth. Reinforce to the child that it is also their responsibility to take ownership of their life for their future success.  

Are you willing to make the sacrifices for your child to give them the attention they need to succeed? Will you be there when they fail and what strategies do you have for failure? There is an enormous amount of pressure wanting to see your child succeed. Think about it and move forward with their future in mind.  

The proposal I never got…

I knew when I saw him he was what I wanted. And I said it when I saw him, “that’s gonna be my husband one day.”

Perhaps I didn’t know I was sealing my fate by speaking those words. I was only 17 years old, a senior in high school, just excited to see such a handsome face.

Little did I know I had to wait 14 years for that day, but it didn’t come with a proposal, or a ring, just our vows written on paper.  We had two witnesses, his friend & mine & and a minister under the gazebo on a misty, rainy day.

Ironically, I waited 14 years to marry him and our marriage lasted 14 years, until he departed me through death.

Goodbye my love, my one true love.  I hope you are in eternal peace.

But I reminisce to say that I may never get to experience the marriage proposal but it’s ok, I guess.  I loved him anyway.