To Be Continued….

A lot has happened since I’ve been here. Things untold and unseen. Answers still unanswered or ignored.

Or am I bored…

I’ve been to Miami, Jamaica, Georgia, back to the Dominican Republic and Playa Del Carmen, MX. Wow! This year is not even over yet.

I’m blessed right? Even though I can’t sleep at night, I’m blessed.

I’m grateful too, even though I gave up too much, I’m still grateful right? Yes!

I’m rich, even though I chose not to bring the man I love to my country because I can’t afford it, but I’m rich, right? Of course…

I’m a traveler too, although I’ve never been to Europe, I am still a traveler, right?

Sure, why not!

I’m happy right? Even though I can’t sleep at night… I am happy!

I am patient right? Waiting and waiting for that man to treat me right… I’ve been here before. I know what this feels like. Waiting….

Yet enjoying the days with my favs, family and sons!

Am I the only one who analyzes the feelings we agonize when we suffer for the love we desire? The love we know we can’t live without!

We try to stay busy so that we don’t focus too much on what’s wrong, and focus on what right and how wrong don’t exist, risk is risky, fear is not our imagination, money is not an object, space only distances us, words don’t mean anything, and on and on…

reality is … how do you feel?

This is where reality sits…

Love Is My Reality

Love Is My Escape!

The things I love to do, I must continue on, with patience, peace and happiness. My love will continue on…

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Yo A Ti!

Out of all the people, places and things I have seen, there’s no other place that has so much influence over me than the Dominican Republic.

I really cannot articulate nor explain why I have experienced so many different highs and lows and I still have the desire to go back and visit.

Have you ever heard of the saying “April showers bring May flowers?” It’s quite like that, and coincidentally I find myself traveling there around the same time each year. But the rhyme was originally in a short poem written back in the 1500’s by Thomas Tusser. There‘s some significance behind the words, “April showers bring May flowers” that simulates my experiences in the Dominican Republic.

This phrase is a reminder that even the most unpleasant experiences, (the heavy rains of April,) can bring very pleasurable experiences – such as, bountiful beautiful flowerin the month of May.

Not only am I spiritually connected to the country, but I am also connected to a man that was born and raised in a culture that is totally different than mine. This has been a struggle to not only communicate my needs and desires, but also just pulling away from it all. It’s almost impossible!

I have listened, learned, observed and participated in the strategies to try to escape this. I really don’t even know what to call it. It’s a stronghold, yes but it’s more than just a feeling. It’s more than just a deceitful lust. I don’t even think it’s about us!

I told him I was coming back, he talked me into that. Everything he asked for, I did the opposite.

I picked Villa Alkimiya in Los Corales because I wanted to stay in a tranquil environment that was very close to the beach. The Villa was located on the 2nd floor and it overlooked the tropical trees in a small village.

It was nothing fancy at all like the resort he wanted me to get! The audacity to rain on my parade with your negative comments. “It’s too far, there’s no TV, blah blah blah…

I didn’t want to rent a car, I was within walking distance to anywhere I wanted to go. If I needed something, I knew I could call on another friend. I even thought about riding the bus (guagua), a few places. I was trying something new!

Why Not? Who needs who?

My friend Shanna arranged an all day excursion for me over to Isla Saona. Somewhere I have been wanting to go since I started visiting his country.

Isla Saona is rated one of the top destinations to visit when you’re in the Dominican Republic. Located at the southernmost tip and approximately 15 miles from the fisherman’s village of Bayahibe, Isla Saona is stunning. Apparently I went at the right time, which was on a Tuesday. It wasn’t overcrowded at all. But it was a very long excursion.

The island only populates approximately 300 people and is powered by solar energy. Isla Saona is a government protected nature preserve.

About an hour into the catamaran ride across the Caribbean Sea, I got sea sick because I wasn’t fully prepared. I forgot my sea bands back in the Villa. A lesson learned. Any forthcoming boat rides, I won’t ever forget those again. When I reached the island, these kind and generous people nursed me back to life. I really thought I was gonna die on Isla Saona! Lol

I was given fresh lime juice and some type of vapor rub was put under my nose and on my forehead. After about an hour, I felt I could make it back home.

The tour guide never told us not to touch the starfish, but they were trying to stress how important it is to keep them in the water! Forgive me, I didn’t know.

The very next day was my late husband ‘s birthday and I was glad mi amigo had to trot off to work this day. I decided to go get my hair done at Heaven Salon and experience my first Dominican blowout. Shanna, an expat in the DR, kindly arranged for a motoconcho to pick me up and take me to the salon. You’re not gonna believe that when I walked out of the Villa, at the security gate, there are several men on motoconchos asking if you need a ride into town! As I approached the driver, I asked him, are you Wency, he nods yes! So I hop on the back of this bike and we take off… about a mile into the darn ride, he asks me where I’m going! I’m thinking, don’t you know? I sent Shanna a picture of me and the driver and immediately she knew. I was with the wrong driver!

I wanted to give up after that, but I didn’t. Finally got with the right driver and made it safely to the hair salon. Another lesson learned.

Treated as a VIP at Heaven Salon, I was excited about my day. I was pampered, I was fed, I was free! Thanks Shanna! It’s always fun to hang out with her and to learn new things about the country we both love so much.

Shanna recorded a podcast as we talked about a few things about being in the DR, we also walked around Los Corales and found another jewel which was the Spa. We stopped by Joy Nutritional POP, Shanna had a chocolate popsicle and I had to have my favorite Chinola passion fruit popsicle. There’s so much to explore in this country, four days is not long enough.

I knew that the fun was going to come to an end, but I didn’t know it would come with such fury! Here comes mi amigo, with his narcissist personality disorder. I triggered something when I falsely accused him of being a thief. I saw a side of him, I don’t think I have quite seen before. I tried to wiggle my way out of it, but eventually to get him to shut up, I had to own up to it! Yes, I called you a thief, and a liar and a cheater. Why are you most bothered by the one that is not true? I don’t know if he’s a thief or not. I was told if you lie, then you’ll steal. (Something like that)

We had a big altercation about my accusation, and that argument went on longer than I thought I could handle. This was the April shower I was getting, but it seemed more like a tropical storm!

We made it through the night, and very early the next morning, he apologized and said his cordial goodbyes. He didn’t want to leave, I could see it in his heart. I heard him say, I love you. I don’t want to ever leave when you come. I’m sorry for the fight, but it’s just that I had to work.

I stood at the window and watched him leave with that dam pink bag! All I could do was laugh!

Mi Amigo can cause me so much grief, yet he still brings me so much joy! The more I try to let go, he always tells me, “Yo a Ti!”

Which means, I Am Yours!

So Traditional

Traditional Days like these are set aside to celebrate all Mothers. This has been so “traditional” to me.

For many years, my Mother’s Day was planned, but never by me.

Then things changed and it was only me.

Not him, just me and I realized…I missed that.

But as I remember, every year I could expect that…

Sunday Church Service

Brunch

Sports

Flowers

Gifts

Relaxation

But now that you’re gone, I can’t expect that. I can’t expect nothing, because you’re gone …

So today, we didn’t plan anything. I was led to ask my sons to eat this morning and the day went on as a little normal.

Kels text me and was like, let’s meet for brunch! I said we are already in route to Snooze.

Anticipated somewhat of a wait to get a table, 30-45 minutes…

Oh yeah… it’s Mother’s Day!

Kels shows up and it was early too like before 9:50 am worship service, in which I’ve mostly missed anyway since you’ve been gone…

Brunch and Cocktails were served and we rode over to Rod District. Why not go by NARs and see what’s new?

Makeup, gloss, flare, and snazz … all that Jazz! I just wanna explore a little more.

Sat down for some more fun and food. We like to eat like every 2-3 hours. Frozé, Fries Taco Burgers… c’Mon Hopdoddy, who would think to put a taco on a bun?

I’m so full thinking about all that food! Kels asks who want ice cream and I just fell to the floor!

We made a B-Line to detour but I know Kels is still somewhere moving and grooving. She’s so much fun!

These are the days when you can make your Mother smile! That’s why their so “Traditional!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

After The Pain

I have this adrenaline running through my veins and it’s hard to explain. I said I wasn’t ever going back again!

Seven months now and what have I done? I chose to move on! I stood up to say, no I don’t want to live my life that way! My morals and values mean too much to me!

That road challenged me and it changed me! I got to know another side of me. That vulnerability… yeah that got me!

I just want to win! I want it my way! And here I am after the pain, liberated and free!

H.E.R. INTUITION

I should’ve listen to my intuition
I’ve put myself in this position
It’s all my fault.. is how the lyrics of this song begin. I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this. If only I could post H.E.R. Lyrics to this song on my blog, because the lyrics just resonates with not only myself, but I’m sure with many of beautiful women who chose to listen to their intuition.

The way I feel… Don’t hold it against me! Go check it out!

Songwriters: Gabi Wilson / Hue Wayne Strother

Against Me lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

The Gaslight

He created this crazy obsession from the very beginning. He begged her for her body and she gave it to him. She didn’t think she would ever see him again. It was not in her plans. Giving him a part of her, connected her soul with him, physically!

Next, he started texting her with love gestures several times a day, and he was very good at being consistent with this type of attention he gave her. This went on every day for four years consistently. He had her connected to him mentally.

“Good morning my love. How was your day?”

“I am fine thanks, my love. How are you?”

“Imagine my day without lights, without hot water, without gas to cook.”

“Yea sounds like a struggle. I’m sorry you have to live that way, but don’t worry it’s going to be ok. The lights will come on, some days you’ll get to experience hot showers, and if you continue to work hard enough, you’ll keep the gas light on.”

He definitely kept the gaslight on. He psychologically manipulated his way into her everyday life. Every day, it was hello my love. How was your day? She would tell him, my days are good, but some days are not as good as the others because, I can’t clearly see how I can live and love you while you are overseas. When the patterns change, and the evidence is plain, it’s hard to stay in the same place of insanity! This is senseless that you get to enjoy the pleasure of playing out your fantasies with your pursuit of exploring other women; yet I, being the advocate for love, I am in pursuit of my own monogamous love affairs, and what you have going on over there, it just does not line up with what I want! We clash!

She told him …”Trust me, I understand your need to fulfill your desires, but I just can’t answer the call! Yet you continue to draw me in with your dirty thoughts of me fulfilling yours. It’s time to let go of the thought that you can keep me under your control. You are a narcissist, and you master keeping the gaslight on to burn in your favor no matter what it cost!” The Master Manipulator ~ You Are!

“When I begin to speak up and expose you for the monster you are, you tell me you love me and that you are mine, but I know it’s not true on the level of what I want. This is not true to who I am or what I want!”

Emotionally Connected

“This is not just some misunderstanding, nor is it a case of cultural barriers, at this point I need you to acknowledge the fact that we are different and I do not want to conform to your world!”

“You have many options to choose from to fulfill the desire of your kind, so go and be free my love to fulfill the happiness that you so desire! The love that we shared with each other was only for a temporary time, and now I want to leave in peace, I leave you with love and you will be just fine.”

Trelawny, Jamaica

When I began to read upon the history of Jamaica, my heart wept and I didn’t want to read about it anymore.

Jamaica was a true gift and Jamaica gave me more infinite power.

Sometimes we are trapped in our minds by the souls of other people and being trapped runs very deep. Some may not be able to escape the entrapment until it’s too late.

This trip to Montego Bay freed me. This trip gave me the courage I needed to explore something new in spite of the harsh rumors I heard about Jamaica. Let’s explore what I saw together.

Booking this trip took some careful planning and extensive research because people have been touring to Jamaica for well over 50 years. In 1999, Jamaica was getting approximately 2M tourists to visit their island, but today’s statistics show twice that amount with 4.3M tourists visiting their enchanted islands of Montego Bay, Negril and Ocho Rios.

Why did I choose Royalton?

Although I love authentic culture, I wanted familiarity since this was my first visit to Jamaica. I wanted modernized decor with great views at a modern price! You have to be careful when choosing Jamaica because the views are amazing and it can be very costly especially for two or more people. This is not your Cancun type of vacation. No pun intended Mexico.

In my opinion, there was no such thing as a bad view at Royalton. The architectural design was made to give everyone a great view of the resort, the pools and the ocean! No one should have to endure a a building blocking your view while on vacation. That just defeats the purpose for me! When I get to my room, I need space, relaxation and a balcony with great scenery and I need to see the sunrise and set everyday.

Here you can see this resort has two buildings that face the ocean! Your choice is not Ocean View, it’s more like how high do you want to be to see the ocean view. You can be as high as 6 stories up! If you’re lucky; get that corner spot!

But for me and my crew, I chose the swim out. I thought it would be sweet to sit out on the balcony and have our own private pool. It kinda gave it that luxurious feeling as if we were special! Actually, we were “special” ~

The SPA gave me a Restorative Glow Body Treatment and A Nourishing Facial! Be sure to take full advantage of any resort credits that is included in your vacation package. It’s well worth it.

Make sure you eat well because everything is included! When I’m on vacation in the Caribbean, I choose to eat plenty of fruit. Mainly because the fruit here in the states just don’t taste the same and the variety is slim.

We had our fair share of it all… Spicy Jerk Chicken, Smoked Lobster Tails, rice and beans, meat pies and plenty of champagne!

Do not forget to try the Bob Marley shots! At first I couldn’t get it down, but I wasn’t going to leave without trying it!

That is Kareem! He greeted us, gave us a tour, and introduced us to the Royalton Family. A big thank you to Royalton for their exquisite taste and hospitality!

Try not to feel trapped in anything, and I know it’s hard sometimes because trust me, I have been there! But if you do feel that entrapment, just travel and you will find that infinite power within you to move in another direction.

Love, Lady Quél

Declare What You Desire

I never would’ve imagined that my life would be what it is today and I could not be more happy to proclaim who’s I Am! His grace and His mercy had allowed me to manifest my desires and to still be able to maintain has been the greatest blessing.

Lord I love you with all my heart and all my soul. I’m grateful for the time you give me to spend with my children. Help me to not be selfish, but to continue to help them grow in to depend on your guidance.

As you go about your day, I hope that you can boldly declare what you desire.

Love, Quél