In the beginning, it was a discovery process; to learn about his culture and how he treats foreign women. I was one of them. I couldn’t understand his aggressive attention he had for me.

I released my expectations and stood on the other side of my guarded walls. We only wanted to enjoy each other’s company. What I wanted with him wasn’t realistic at all. Who can you trust in another country? But I wanted him.

He was the reason I exhaled 💋

My paradise when I was overwhelmed

My hope for another escape 🏖

My fire 🔥

My alone time.

He was my space ❤️

Watching, observing and talking to him daily, I became attached to his behaviors. Being so attached to him had me wanting one more escapade with him. Torn between tied down without an escape from him; and wanting that fairytale of a wedding with him, but knowing darn well I could be miserable with him. It’s such a big risk.

What am I willing to do to risk it all? Ignore the signs, and embrace for the downfall? Not at all. When I try to end it, now he wants to make the call. “Compra los dos anillos y manda arreglar los papeles de la boda. Y nos casamos. “ (Buy the rings, arrange the wedding papers and we can get married.”)

Uh… No. I don’t want to buy the rings, all I want is you.

My desire for him may just be my downfall.