I stumbled upon love one day, but it didn’t look like love. It was filled with lust, passion, desire & bliss. He saw his window of opportunity and he took advantage of it.
We were inseparable with our words, and our words turned into several face-2-face rendezvous. These international secret escapes created a bond that some may describe as a soul-tie. Nothing I did could shake him off of me. I was asking him questions and I was very demanding to make him identify and label “us”. My love | His love | very different from above. I began to settle into “his” love for me. I decided to just luv him anyway.
Part I ~AnXiety, Jealousy, Inhibitions, & Self-doubt about what I should or shouldn’t be doing. This was very consuming.
Part II ~ was just childish behaviors I had to really come to grips with. I am too old to be acting like this. He couldn’t comprehend my aggression I was feeding him but in the end, he was patient with me. I had to pray through this.
No matter how many times we fought and argued, I tried to sabotage the friendship with my perceptions of lies, deceit and betrayal. I didn’t like that dark place of fear, emptiness and insecurity. I had to decide a better path for me to take. I had to let go of what was my perceptions of…things I couldn’t control.
I acknowledged every fear I had and I dealt with it. I prayed through it. I acknowledged it, I communicated them and I moved on. I know & he knows that my love is sacred and he won’t ever forget that. I stood firm in restoration, recovering from darkness and insecurity. I am very grateful that my Lord was there with me and never left my side.
Some people may not be fully aware of the power they have within to be able to deal with their own insecurities and to be able to move past the trials in their lives. If you’re faced with any fears, face it and regardless of the outcome, do it without regret, because if someone did something that made you feel fear or insecure, it is worth acknowledging because not only does it change you, but it may change someone else. Make certain that your intent to change should be rooted in love, not hate. To make it better for yourself.
Although his love is not perfect, I realized that neither was mine. I had to believe that there was a victory in being so vulnerable after I had gone through a major lost; but I made a conscious effort on being confident and decided to love again. He, well he has more work to do, but I knew one day he would come for me and it will be true that he was the one. I discovered that the perfect gift he had to give to me was his heart.❤️
U know who u r! ❤️🌹
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