He Set the Tone…

Written by Racquel

Who finds the time to date during COVID19? Perhaps you’re desperate or seeking something for self gratification. Maybe, it’s just to have a casual conversation. Similar to a companion. You connect with someone through a physical attraction and the conversation begins.

His invitation to dinner starts off as tempting, yet tantalizing because it seems thoughtful to have someone actually cook for you. It’s easier to just eat out and go our separate ways afterwards. It may not cross your mind he could have a motive. Your perception could simply be naive thinking he is actually interested in really getting to know more about you.

Upon entering his dwelling, you feel a little uncomfortable, but you try to settle in to his sensual hospitality, his Afro Latino history, his tech geek personal lifestyle, and you’re only getting a little, bit of him because he’s busy cooking. You don’t really know who, why, or what’s going to happen next. It’s just a chance you are willing to take.

Dinner is served, and you trust the food that is prepared is good enough to eat, so you won’t have to pretend when he asks, is everything ok? Actually, it was one of the many things that easily got you hooked on him, but you just didn’t want him to know it was that simple for you. He had you in that moment. He set the tone.

After dinner, you engage in more conversation with him, but it was a sudden statement of, I want you. You resist to respond too quickly, although you may it depends on your vulnerability level. In a moments notice, do you choose to leave or do you stay to explore a little more? In that moment, he sets the tone for what is to come later on.

You made it through the night, and the demands and promises start immediately after that, you didn’t have much time to even think about if it’s what you should accept. You start to consider it.

Eventually it does not take long to notice there’s a huge difference between you two, a lot you don’t know so you start to fact check everything he said, instead of beginning to trust. Still, things just didn’t seem to add up. It was different, yet intriguing enough to consider who this person was. You may ask yourself, “Should we continue? “ He insists.

You are not sure what he’s accustomed to, but for you, it is he who should do more pursuing if he’s really interested in getting to know you.

You go on your day-to-day operations and suddenly you remember a month has passed with no communication, an issue of unresponsive text messages. Out of the blue, your sister notices him at the park, and oddly you get a notification that he was there and that prompted you to reach out to him and things pick up where you left off. One thing led to another, and he communicates he wants a relationship, but remember you still had another adventurous lover lingering in your DNA. He makes mention to you to give up communication with your lover in order for the two of you to move forward and you even considered on doing that for him. Here you go translating in Spanish that you are going to move on and cut all manners of communication with your ex lover. No more adventurous vacations in paradise, gotta make something new with this man whom you’re not even sure will be the one you can venture into.

Yes, it was worth a try, but you find yourself going back to communicate with your ex lover when you are alone and now you had to tell the truth, when your new man asked you because he could see right through you all the time. You thought it was going to be easy, but it was hard to stop talking to your ex because you had a strong bond of talking to him everyday and it was his attention that kept you engaged, although it was rarely important the things you were discussing, had very little interest to you. It was just something to do.

Concentrating on someone new, you began to carefully watch his temperaments, his work ethics, and his fatherly characteristics. His patterns became so predictable. It was work, work, work, go out to eat, watch a movie, sleep and father duties every other weekend. Where does the monotony end?

He was friendly, and funny, and a good communicator when it comes to getting what he needed. Breaks in between your love making sessions, he was only spontaneous when it came to fulfilling his requests and he made them be known, with the expectation it was what he deserved. Was that a test? He was setting the tone for this monster he created.

Eventually the cycle continues and you may find yourself trying to adapt settling into his trap, yet noticing you were accepting things you would accept when you were in your 20’s, a sucker for some adventure. He knew what he was doing and he used his communication as leverage asking you things he had no business asking you in the moment of pleasure. Red flags were thrown everywhere, but he kept you in despair perhaps for his self gratification.

After a few unfulfilled promises, you come to realize that you kept adding up all of his wrong doings and after you made love to him, you had the nerve to ask him, “what are you doing? Leading me on, still pretending, and by the way, what’s in your phone? “

The truth you were assuming. Something he felt you were not privy to. One more thing added to his list of being unfair to you.

Although he used his leverage to go through your phone and point out your alleged other male friends, with whom he seemed very insecure with, you don’t get any rights to his privacy. You don’t know who he is spending his spare time with when he doesn’t answer your call or even take the time to respond to your text messages.

You don’t know his name and how it suddenly changed, you don’t get to travel together, you don’t get to relax at all because your other male friends are always an issue, everything is your fault, and you cannot be trusted. You don’t get the gifts you asked him for, it’s always some excuse.

What else is there to do? Plan your escape without further confrontation, and hope there’s no retaliation going forward.

Your temperaments start to rumble and you ask yourself, what are you going to do when he gets out of the shower, ready to enjoy a dinner for two? Do you really want to sit and eat pretending that your needs go unmet, just to keep the peace between you two?

During the time while he is in the shower, you wrestle in your mind what the outcome will be with making a split decision of going through with the planned dinner for two.

Silence and absence was all you could offer him, because you wanted to avoid any confrontation. When you walked out that door you did not know if you could even bare to face him anymore.

He set the tone, and you tried to adapt, but you were not willing to fully give into his control. Eventually, one of you will have to let it go!

Yours Truly, Racquél

50 & Counting

Someone said to me…”You’re 50 years old, you should be further along than where you are now!”

Yes! I’m 52 years old as a matter of fact!

I grew up in a small city, my parents Carl & Joyce moved us out of Southpark before I started kindergarten. In Kindergarten, crackers and orange juice was my most memorable snack. I attended Piney Point elementary in the city and I remember walking to school with my older sister. I was in the 3rd grade. I was maybe 8 years young! My parents bought a house in Missouri City, in the suburban area and in 4th grade I hated having to make new friends, but I was able to adapt and finish high school earning my diploma, excelling in dance and math! It was real easy back in the 80’s! My most memorable experience was being on the Drill Team where we performed at all of the high school football games.

I’m 52 years old on this picture!

After high school, my parents, (still married) helped me to transition to college in Prairie View, TX! Two years later, my Dad died from lung complications. That was painful. I wanted to come home and work to help my Mom with my two younger sisters. I remember working at Furrows Lumber yard as a cashier. My mom and a cousin, Robyn helped me get my first apartment back in the city with thrift store furnishings. Thanks Mom & Robyn.

I worked, a lot. I always had a job. The Gap, Foley’s, Macy’s, Armani Exchange, 9 West, JC Penny’s , Minute Maid, Chase Bank until I finally settled in at a non-profit organization affiliated with my church home. I was only 22 years old. I started working as a receptionist, and moved to become the administrative assistant to the Chief Administrative Officer. I loved being a administrator who provided support for day-day operations for the business. Although I did not complete my accounting degree from Prairie View, I obtained my BS/BA online. I knew it was one of my skills I was passionate about and I became great at what I loved to do.

Still 50!

Married at the ripe age of 33 and gave vaginal birth to 3 sons that are now 20, 19 & 17 years old. One graduate! Still working on 2 more high school diplomas! Not to mention, my marriage lasted 14 years, which was a huge accomplishment if you ask me! I don’t care what nobody says, if you’ve never been in a marriage, you won’t understand what I’ve been through!

Widowed at 46 years old, broken down to only one income, there was some bad decisions made during my time of grief. I traveled a lot, I was Adventurous, but who was holding me accountable when my other half left me? I was so accustomed to walking that straight & narrow path of married life raising kids and working full time jobs! Death came unexpectedly, so I started to live and see things differently.

Now it’s 2020 and yes I’m 52! Working from home, still raising my youngest son who is 17 now! Apartment living, with transportation, food to eat during this pandemic, COVID19 free! Still working from home on my same salary, drive for UberEats whenever I feel like it and have maintained being a travel agent for a year! Enjoy my healthy relationships with my family and my closest friends with whom I love dearly!

I’m 52, and still counting and living life on my terms, and yes things change, some decisions in life won’t always be the right decision, but I don’t quit, and one thing I know for sure is that my God always provide for me, even when I don’t believe in myself. I have learned to surrender to my higher power and it gives me peace beyond my own understanding!

Get you some love & peace and check back with me where you’re 52 and still counting!

Times of Uncertainty

Inhale the hope that you survive

Exhale

Inhale the love that you found inside

Exhale

Inhale the thoughts that cross your mind

Exhale

Don’t get disappointed now

With these times of uncertainty

If you feel uncertain, you may need to make a move. You never know, it may be to another country.

It was my birthday, but I wasn’t expecting much. I’m usually out traveling for my birthday. I miss my travel buddies.

What is there to do when you are restricted to freely move around your city with a mask on and standing at least six feet apart. Restaurants requiring mask upon entry but as soon as your food is delivered the masks come off in public.

Intentionally we are supposed to succumb to the authorities of the land, but man! We need to find our own solutions.

Some streets are deserted, which could be a great thing, it is an indication of peace in our streets, but others are not so lucky.

Portland and Atlanta had it bad. Pray for Chicago is still in his plan. Just don’t get disappointed. Even through milestones, I know it is getting hard. We are trying to hold on to our family, because our distant friendships are cut off.

What tha’ F’fff is this about? Making us lose our clout!

Now you may see a few on the plane, but nevertheless… travel and learn a new language!

Southbound

She takes the next flight Southbound…away from the noise of this disquieting disruption… distancing herself from the collective malfunction that contemplates quarantine options as a prelude to panic… My muse makes time to luxuriate in a sandy hammock… as I remain waist deep in margin calls on my resilience… all made from an acceptable social distance… my resistance is thwarted by the persistent insistence of my calling to lead… I’m spiritually present while my body pleads for an escape… desert or island… peninsula or cape… One photo and I am raptured to her exotic dreamscape… caught watching a tape that repeats everyday… I’ll heroically die slow if I stay… she makes me wanna get away… just close my eyes and blow this place… teleport to where Dominican days and nights await… I hear sapient songs sung by a girl who doesn’t date… she slays… and lives like there’s only today… she slays… and loses no sleep over how much she’ll have to pay… she slays… no limits by night and photo shoots by day… she slays… posting daily digital remnants of her wanderlust… and I have come to trust her seductive curation… and how the light on her body intoxicates like luscious libations in her glass… she’s smoldering sensuality wrapped in high society class… pure sass in a bikini, short shorts or an evening gown…and if she ever invites me I will be instantaneously down… dip up out of reality quietly without fury or sound… leave the grind behind and take the next flight Southbound.

Author Anonymous

I wrote a whole blog and it disappeared.

I wrote a whole blog about how good God has been throughout this new beginning! I do not even remember the name of the blog and I just wrote it! The devil is defeated so keep fighting with the full armor of God.

I was giving God so much praise, I guess the devil got mad and deleted it! Anyway to make a long story short and a short story shorter! I’m in a new place!

For so long I lived to provide, to teach, to guide my sons to prepare them for independence, and it’s now time to branch off from my two older sons. It’s a blessing for sure for them to accept my proposal. So I’m settling in with my youngest son and he also is watching every move I make. They don’t understand a lot of what I go through but they know that I am a believer that if you walk by faith and not by sight, all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to HIS purpose, not your Pastor’s purpose, not your significant other’s not your spouse’s purpose, not your job’s purpose but according to HIS purpose.

Thank you Lord for my mini Oasis! Deliver us from the evil one!

In Jesus name. Shalom

Time~Lapse

Periods of time that passes when you encounter someone who recognizes the masses of beauty within, but others pass by in passing and may never acknowledge your being and beauty because sometimes it just won’t happen.

I made a conscious effort to not use people for monetary gains; and maybe I suffer and lack things because of that choice. I’d rather go without or try harder to get it on my own than to mislead someone into thinking I love them. I chose to be who I am; authenticated in my DNA and mysteriously articulated.

I have encountered some really great platonic friends and I value that. Where two different genders can exist without a kiss or passing innuendos of some egotistical bliss. Just exist! I wanted to share this piece written by a friend of mine. I named it Tine~Lapse.

Time~Lapse written by a friend of mine.

Ever since I first laid eyes on you I’ve been spending my days searching my soul to find the proper words to describe how you make me feel when I see your smile when I see the wisdom in your eyes every time I think of you.


With you and me there is no in between, otherwise my soul would never be at peace. I sense with you the only emotion I can expect is the pain of a broken heart, needs that go unfulfilled, a vision never seen. We are so connected ,but so distant. I fear I have not acquired the wisdom to guide me through what my heart yearns for and what my spirit tells me will take me to another level of wisdom and faith, or bring every fiber of my being to it’s knees. I look in your eyes and see ……….you just texted me. I feel I have to resolve this dilemma internally; alone; in prayer. Besides it’s the strength you worship in your other half. The strength to take you without question or fear to places in your soul that you thought you had already gone. If you could only ………..No, I am here because of who you are.

The power that comes with bearing ones soul unequivocally; knowing that is what I unconsciously, unknowingly require; without concern for self. To love unconditionally; or not. Sure that going there alone may alter all that I know I have become. But not going there from fear of what might happen destroys more than self. Embracing destiny unknown, and new experiences in love and unrelenting peace and happiness. I’d rather fail seeking our destiny. ~

Author ~D.H.

So you want to go on vacation during a pandemic? Here’s what you need to know.

This new year has sprung in with some not so good news beginning with the tragic loss of Kobe Bryant and his daughter GiGi, but before we could mourn the loss of one of our greatest basketball players, here comes a wave of pandemic fear that most of the world was not prepared for. This had some overstocking up on toilet paper and grocery stores selling out of all disinfect products like Lysol, Clorox, and hand sanitizers!

People were ordered to Stay Home, businesses were closing to flatten the curve of this virus, and schools were redesigned to finish out the school year online.

I was beginning to count the days!

Now, after 70 odd days of staying home, and canceled trips due to COVID19, perhaps you feel like it’s somewhat safe to travel or maybe you would rather take the risk and feel a vacation is just the right thing you need to cure these stay at home blues.

Are you really ready to go on vacation? Here’s what you need to know!

  • Pick at least three destinations
  • Choose how many days you want to travel
  • Decide who will be traveling with you
  • Make sure your travel credentials are valid
  • What is the purpose for this vacation?
  • Is this vacation for Adults only or will the children come along?
  • What is your hotel preference?
  • What airline do you trust to fly with?
  • What preferred times are you willing to travel?
  • Most importantly book with a travel agent.

There’s more to know before you go, but these are ten things to ponder on before you even think about booking your next vacation!

If you don’t have a travel agent, I can help you plan accordingly so that you won’t have to stress over the small minute details of it all.

Click the link to contact me today!

If you’re ready for your next getaway!

The Puzzle

The Peace to your puzzle.

Anyone else out here can relate to dyslexia? The uncommon ability to transpose everything! Is that a mental phobia or a DNA disposable?

Stay Safe

Stay Home

Keep writing ~ to all of my bloggers and authors.

Shalom

Quarantine 2020

Why?

Why disrupt our lives?

Aren’t we worthy enough to survive?

Why? Things have been disrupted and I remember my last day in the office, March 23 or something like that. We had already begun wiping everything down several times a day. Hand sanitizing everything. The spread of COVID19 has gone eerily array. Still today we are in Quarantine.

I have survived, although I had to cancel 3 trips I had planned. Two cruises and a trip in the Caribbean. I’ve been at home. Bored in the house some days, and in the house bored. I’m still grateful. We are all safe. Adjusting to this new norm, being at home working is not so bad until your employer makes it relevant that you should be operating at a 40-hour level during a global pandemic. Makes it a little stressful. Yet, I’m still grateful, trying to manage emotions and feelings and to keep it all in great perspective.

Conspiracy theories are very entertaining, this matrix we’re in is all a hoax, it’s not a virus it’s 5G towers! I don’t know. I just wanna survive this surprise. This is no joke !

Back in tune with me!

Quarantine 2020

Who Knew?

Honestly, I’m getting bored at home all day. Some days I don’t even go out of the house. This is not normal. It’s hard to adjust to. This is what we have to do to survive?

Wow. It’s been 2 weeks since we have been on a Stay Hone Work Safe Order during this Corona Virus pandemic.

My 2020 year was full of travel plans. Exciting ones too! I had two cruises planned, a trip to Fort Lauderdale for my son’s high school graduation and a trip to the Dominican Republic.

Due to this COVID19 pandemic, three of my trips were canceled. I’m still hopeful to be able to travel in June, but I won’t know if that will be possible. Many speak of the Passover and the healing it will bring. Resurrection Sunday is only a few days away. Only time will tell us.

This pandemic has impacted everyone. Schools were suspended. Restaurants closed for in house dining. Businesses have been closed Employees are laid off. 6 million people are filing for unemployment benefits.

My sons have handled this pandemic very well. They stay inside with me a lot cooking, playing Xbox games, and keeping the place clean.

I really miss traveling. I miss going out to eat. I miss driving into the city. What was it all for? Humanity

Who knew 2020 would begin with a worldwide pandemic that would try to collapse our entire economy? What did we do to deserve this? Is it sin?

Will this make us change from within?

I’m going Virgin!

Join us May 13-17 on Virgin Voyage’s new ship Scarlet Lady.

Bimini Beach Club 🔥
Virgin Voyages’ Caribbean itineraries stop at their exclusive beach club experience in the Bahmas, The Beach Club at Bimini.

It’s a stunning collision of restoration and exploration – with the luxury of
St. Tropez, the raw beauty of the Maldives and the energy of Ibiza. And at the end of the night, we say our goodbyes with a bonfire bash under the stars.

Reserve your cabin now!
Email me at haute50travel@gmail.com

Bimini Beach Club

Risk it All

Love is a risk.

An opportunity to become one with your partner if you choose to become one.

Some risk it all in the name of love; to become one, even though they are not fully aware of what becoming one truly means.

We say I Do, then we say I don’t want to anymore for many reasons and we walk out that door.

Love is a risk, and we choose to experience the joy that comes with love and in that experience there may be pain, or loss, or hurt.

So with that risk, there is fear or concern about many things that can encompass love. Are we not supposed to risk it, in the name of love?

Where would we be if we had not loved?